Well, my name is Riane. Well, for all intents and purposes on this blog, it's Riane. I am a single (currently) early 30's woman. Chick. Broad. Lady. Beeyotch.
Whatever you want to call me.
I am on this "journey" (sounds so effing lame) in life right now. In my teens, I was not really shy, but I hid behind the "clique" I had. My early 20's were going out, drinking, partying and trying to figure out my body, my relationships and wth I was doing.
I did not "age gracefully". When I turned the Dirty Thirty - I all but hid from it. I did not do it with any kind of grace or class. It was lame. And I regret it.
I have this "thing" right now...no, not the "thing" where I use "air quotes" for everything. Ok, well apparently that's my thing too. Shut up.
No, my current journey is trying to take back my life.
That includes losing about another large amount of weight. I have already lost about 47 lbs in the last several months. But I have a lot I still want to lose.
And it also includes figuring out this effed up thing I have going with my (not really) ex boyfriend because "he can't really be a boyfriend to begin with if he never fully commited to you and slept with every open set of legs he could get his dick in for the last decade."
Yes, the last decade plus some. I have been having the same.fucking.drama with the same dude for that long. I was 19 when I met him. Hmmm....I guess I should name him. He obviously has to be called something when I talk about him. I won't "out" him on here. Well, I will. But annonymously.
He who Shant be named will from here on out be called - Captain Douche Baggery. I am sure I will have plenty of nicknames for him throughout this blog. But it will typically be The Captain. Or something similar.
Anywho, there have been a few boys, guys, men...whatever...that have peppred in throughout the time I had with The Captain. And all's fair in love and war...he cheated on me. A lot. But I will have this entire blog to air that all out.
There were a couple of guys that were fun. There were a couple that I don't "count" on my list.
And there was the "one that got away." Yep, I had one of them. I had a great guy who was kind, sweet, affectionate and adorable. And I left him to head right on back to the Capt.
The one that got away will be known as Jewel. Fitting in So many ways. Jewel knew I was still seeing The Captain on the side. He tried so hard to get me to see that he was the better man.
I was so blind.
A little about the Captain - he has two kids. Two wonderful, fabulous and beautiful kids. Granted, one I found out about two weeks before she was born. But I digress...to another blog post at another time.
The Captain is in his early 30's as well. He is tall, slender, tattooed and has great abs and a GREAT V...c'mon, you know the part I mean. The V that is from the hip bones down. It is an amazing V....
And The Captain does not have the ability to be actually and truly happy. It is amazing...he can literally find SHIT in a rainbow. Talent, that one has it.
Oh, and I met the Captain right after my friend served him with a restraining order for B&E. Yep, I broke the Bro Code (is there a girls version??) by dating her ex AND he had a rap sheet.
Awesomesauce.
Let's see. I am now friends/frenemies/acquaintances/Lord only knows with his kids' mom. Let's call her Rooty.
Anyways, Rooty and I haaaaated each other. He was still supposedly with her while he was supposedly with me. We shouldn't have hated each other as much. We should have been using that energy to hate him. So much wasted.
Well, Rooty and I have come to an impasse I suppose. She has moved on to another relationship and she has decided that their kids love me, I took good care of The Captain and I truly deep down am a decent person. I got effed by the lies that Cappy told me.
So I just spent Friday night and all day today house/dog and kid sitting for her. At her house. In her bedroom.
I had So much fun with the kids. Tremendous huge amounts! We played hide and seek, we watched tv, played video games and all snuggled up in the bed.
And then The Captain got home from work this morning. I ended up hanging out with him and the kids on and off all day. (he works nights, so he slept and I watered and fed the kids, etc) He woke up, we went to get dinner.
We helped with homework.
We chatted. About his girlfriend.
He walked me out to my car to say goodnight and thank you.
And then we promptly went back into the house and had a quickie in the bathroom.
The Captain and I are Fucked. Up.
I wonder how many steps are in Dirty Laundry Annonymous?
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